Uncertainty may be the norm, so a steadfast goal is even more necessary. — Xiao Yuan

Today is October 1st, National Day. The school's National Day holiday lasts nine days, and I had already rushed home yesterday. Reflecting carefully, it's been more than 17 days since my last update; I seem to have become quite lazy, lacking the freshness of when I had just set up the diary site.

I have also entered my second year, studying at a junior college, not a bachelor's degree, so the program lasts only three years. The first two years are spent at school, and the third year requires an internship. That means, if I don't pursue upgrading to a bachelor's degree, after July this year I will start an internship, and my time in formal schooling will be over.

When I think about my future directions, there's a strong sense of powerlessness, and the powerlessness stems from not knowing anything. My college major is auto repair, but we all know that junior colleges are full of fluff; basically it's just a way to kill time and get a diploma, so there isn't much of a skill to speak of. I tried to break this sense of powerlessness by learning some skills, so I chose to self-study front-end development. From June, full of confidence and with plans for how long to study each day, to later completely slacking off—yet in just two months I realized the biggest problem was that I didn't have the resolve to stick with it.

Yesterday afternoon after the holiday I was a bit tired and took a nap. When I woke up, it was already evening, and the sky was dark, which felt very uncomfortable. I took a shower; the continuous water hitting my body kept me awake, and I felt I couldn't go on like this. Based on my current situation, I have thought out a suitable goal for myself: first, to upgrade to a bachelor's degree, setting learning tasks, and each day completing tasks while self-studying some technologies.

In Zhejiang, the automotive major is in the science and engineering category, and upgrading to a bachelor’s degree for science and engineering majors only requires taking two courses, Mathematics and English; each course is worth 150 points, for a total of 300 points. And my English is very poor; studying English is a long-term project. Based on the current progress, I will set a weekly study plan, and aim to pass the CET-4 and CET-6 before graduation.

Unknown, confusion, and fear. Not knowing who I will be years later when I finally step into society, will I look back at this article and regret having written it, letting myself stay comfortable and drift along, or will I be grateful that I made such a choice at this important time…

National Day Wishes

Finally, many thanks for getting here; Happy National Day, these are my sincere wishes.